ATF 9 Memories of a Nightmare
by retirw
Summary: Vin runs across an old enemy on a bust. Bringing back nightmares from his past.
1. The Warehouse

The Magnificent Seven don't belong to me. I sneak them out to play.

_If it is in italics it's thoughts _/If it's between backslashes it's telepathy or it's close cousin/

* * *

The Warehouse

The team had been together now almost 6 months. There had been a lot of growing pains. Anytime you try to bind a group of individuals together there will be flare ups.

JD was having some difficulty with the after effects of Wilson. Ezra was still hiding behind words. Buck could be abrasive and at times down right pushy. Nathan's attitude towards Ezra often caused strain among the others. Josiah could be wonderfully supportive or cynical as hell. Chris often violently pushed away any offers of comradery. Then there was Vin. Somehow he'd just step back and cease to be there. They had quickly learned not to physically crowd him.

Slowly they were becoming a unit. Becoming part of each other. JD had become Buck's brother in everything but blood. Josiah found himself viewing the others as younger siblings or even his sons. Nathan was developing a grudging respect for Ezra and genuine affection for the rest. Ezra had his stored belongings shipped to Denver. They hadn't been unpacked though. Chris and Vin were spooky in their unspoken conversations. Chris found himself making plans involving his men. Vin watched, helped out when he could and still seemed to be not quite part of the group.

Josiah had been wounded once. Chris had damn near died when a bullet came in under his arm slipping past the vest. Ezra had been grazed twice and had the hell beat out of him once already. Some joker had glued a bull's-eye on Ezra's ATF jacket. Vin had walked through the middle of three fire fights without a scratch. Then it all went south.

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The deal was made. The team moved in taking the gun runners down. Ezra took down the arms dealer in a smooth move slapping the cuffs on him. Buck was having a little problem till Josiah's huge arm clamped over the bodyguards throat. It was clean and neat just the way they wanted it to go. Everything was moving like clockwork.

Ezra was never sure what triggered his attention. It certainly wasn't sound. The absolute silence of it was frightening. Vin came out of the rafters with such speed he was almost in free fall. Ezra's skin prickled as he viewed Vin's behavior. _He's on the hunt!_ Vin's movements reminded Ezra of a tiger he had watched make a kill in India. Rapidly looking around he spotted Vin's prey. One of the bodyguards fired his weapon. He dropping it as he turned to flee. The shots seeming to have no effect.

_Dear God! Vin plans to kill him! _As Vin stalked the fleeing man Ezra sprang to intercept Vin. _No ! I won't lose you. _Three bounds and Vin was on the man. Ezra managed to grab Vin and knock him off balance.

"CHRIS!" Ezra screamed as he tried to maintain his hold. Chris tossed his prisoner at JD as he rushed the scuffling men.

_What the HELL! Ezra's got Vin not the perp. _Chris realized as he attempted to stop the melee. Buck grabbed the perp just as Vin's knife came into play.

"VIN! We got him back off!" Chris shouted into the tracker's ear. Vin lunged after his prey. Inadvertently slicing Buck's shoulder to the bone as he attempted to kill the man. Chris found himself lying on the warehouse floor. Ezra was in a losing battle trying to prevent Vin from reaching the terrified criminal. Josiah entered the fray only to be tossed into the wall by the furious Tanner. Somehow a desperate Ezra managed to take Vin's feet out from under him. Chris and Josiah joined forces in pinning the smaller man to the concrete. Buck drug the frozen perp out of reach slapping a pair of cuffs on him.

"Stay out of it Buck looks like they've got him down," Nathan examined Buck's shoulder.

"What the hell's wrong with Junior," Buck gasped. JD joined them wincing at the sound as Vin slammed his head into Chris's nose. Ezra had managed to get a lock on Vin's legs preventing any more brutal kicks. Josiah continued to apply pressure on Vin's arm and shoulder as Chris tried to remove the knife from Vin's grasp. The snap was clearly audible when Chris ended up breaking Vin's right arm. Vin causing him to loose his grip on the bloody knife.

"Easy Cowboy, calm down," Chris soothed as Vin slowly stopped struggling. JD escorted the terrified bodyguard into a car and sent him straight to holding. They continued to pin Vin for several minutes.

"Josiah move he's breathing all wrong," Nathan yelled in concern. When Josiah loosened his hold Vin slithered out of their grasps. Springing to his feet he tried to locate the now missing prey.

"Vin?" Nathan spoke. Vin sprang back slamming himself into the wall. Where he dropped into a defensive crouch. "He ain't hearing us," Nathan exclaimed.

"Chris he'll hear you," Buck panted. At Chris' approach Vin turned towards him. Exposing his face to the others. Ezra found himself pressing back against Josiah unashamed of his trembling.

"Chris don't get close," Josiah whispered, "Vin's some when else".

Chris hesitated looking at Vin's posture. "Shit!".

"I haven't seen that look in along time Chris go real easy," Buck approached cautiously.

"Stay back JD don't get close. Vin's having a flashback of some kind," Buck spoke calmly.

"Vin!" Chris spoke hard with no reaction. /Tanner! What the hell are you doing/ Chris demanded.

"Capt'n," Vin whispered. Buck and Chris exchanged glances.

"Tanner stand down that's an order. I repeat stand down," Chris commanded. Vin slowly collapsed sinking to his knee's. He began rocking and an eerie keening began. Chris slowly knelt speaking softly and pulled Tanner into his arms. Holding him gently Chris continued to speak gently. Buck knelt and started rubbing Vin's back in slow circles. The keening stopped and was replaced by silent sobs.

"You ready to move Chris?" Buck asked quietly. Vin swung around at the voice.

"Damn Junior ya show to much in them eyes," Buck choked. Soul deep shame and terror filled the haunted features. Josiah's eyes closed to shut the pain out as he asked a prayer for the battered soul. Ezra's cheeks were pale as he watched Chris and Buck minister to Vin.

"What could do that to a man?" JD gasped.

"Hell, Mr. Tanner's been to hell," Ezra whispered. Nathan looked at his hands and dropped them helplessly to his sides.

"Don't have any healing for this hurt," He sighed sadly. "JD come help me," Nathan requested. They returned with a stretcher and waited. Chris carefully rose with Buck's help never releasing his grip on Vin. Cradling him in his arms he walked to the stretcher.

"I'm laying you down Vin. I'm not going anywhere," Gently Vin was placed onto the stretcher. Vin lay shivering eyes wild. "Vin listen to me I'm going to do up these straps. Don't fight me now." Chris calmed. Vin whimpered and fought to get up. /OK no straps, I promise. You just lay stay still for me./ Chris soothed the sharpshooter. Vin lay still never losing eye contact with Chris. "Let's go," Chris ordered.

"Qwith?" Vin asked.

"Right here cowboy," Chris patted Vin's shoulder.

"I done tha'?" Vin asked troubled by the blood covering Chris's face.

"It's all right Vin nobody's mad" Chris soothed.

"Buck! I cut Buck," Vin gasped.

"I'm all right Junior calm down now," Buck spoke comfortingly.

"We gotta go to the hospital and get your arm fixed. Buck and I'll let 'em look us over too," Chris calmed.

"Let me up don't wanna go ta tha hothpital," Vin demanded.

"I'm not giving you a choice here, Cowboy," Chris stated. "Nate do you want to look at this leg looks like Vin caught a bullet," Chris spoke calmly.

Dr. Appleton entered the waiting room. Chris was sporting a pair of blackening eyes and a taped nose. Buck's arm was in a sling. Ezra sported numerous bruises and some bite marks on his left arm. Josiah sat with his right leg elevated and an ice pack on his knee.

"Well gentlemen it appears today was not a good day," she offered.

"How's Vin?" Chris demanded.

"Both the bones in his lower right arm are fractured. As well as his right collar bone. He has three cracked ribs. Both ankles are sprained. He's on his way to surgery to clean that bullet hole up. Otherwise he appears to be all right. If that boy tells me one more time I's fine, I'm going to use the biggest bent needle on him I can find," Dr. Appleton groaned.

"You know Vin?" Nathan asked.

"I've had him a few times in my emergency room. Polite, shy, lousy patient. I've learned a few things though. Here's his pants," The doctor snickered as she dropped a bag on the floor beside Josiah. "Vin Tanner has got to be the shyest man I've ever met. That child isn't going anywhere without his pants," Dr. Appleton explained. "He shouldn't be in surgery for long. Dr. Seleingher is the surgeon, real good man," She smiled at the concerned men. "You boys know where surgery's waiting room is," She suggested.

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Four hours later a Doctor appeared. The man was sporting a rapidly blackening eye and moved stiffly.

"Larabee?" he asked the men.

"That's me," Chris stopped pacing.

"Mr. Tanner is out of surgery," Seleingher sighed.

"How is he?" the men demanded.

"Gentlemen may I sit down," the surgeon smiled tiredly. "We had some complications...," the doctor began. "Mr. Tanner is doing as well as can be expected" he calmed. "He came out from under the anesthesia twice," the surgeon rubbed his eye.

"Did Junior do that?" Buck indicated the black eye.

"Yeah, you should see my intern," the doctor softly chuckled. "Somehow he got loose. We had to switch to another surgery when he contaminated the room," Selingher explained.

"He contaminated a couple of doctors by the look of I,." Nathan noted.

"That too," Selingher shook his head. "The surgery itself was fairly simple and I expect no problems," Selingher looked troubled. "Mr. Tanner had a reaction to one of the meds. He's on a ventilator for the next several hours. Considering his reactions we did more x-rays and went ahead and casted his arm. He's wearing a brace to stabiles the collar bone. Gentlemen for everyone's protection we have him in restraints until the anesthesia wears off. I'm sorry I haven't had this ever happen before," the surgeon offered. Silence settled over the waiting men.

"When can we see him?" Chris finally demanded.

"Does Mr. Tanner have any family to contact?" The doctor asked.

"Mr. Larabee is Mr. Tanner's half brother," Ezra lied without a blink.

"Would you come on back now?" Selingher asked "Maybe you can calm him".

Chris stood and headed for recovery. Chris halted at the curtain looking down at Vin. _He looks like a horse trapped in barbed wire._ Even while unconscious the tense muscles pulled against restraints. Chris frowned at the machinery and the distressed beat of Vin's heart. His head was trapped in place. His body covered by a warmed blanket.

Chris spoke softly, "Damn Tanner what have you done to yourself." Chris moved forward gently brushing the hair back from Vin's face. The too cold skin registered. "Nurse? he's cold," Chris told the woman.

"The anesthesia is responsible for his temperature. We're working on it right now," she explained. "May I get you a chair? Can you calm him down?" she asked softly.

Chris sank onto the chair. He brushed the blanket to the side so he could reach Vin's hand. Chris' heart skipped a beat as he registered the cuff securing Vin's wrist. Straps securing Vin to the bed appeared from under the edge of the blanket at shoulder, chest, waist, hip and above the knee. When the nurse shifted the blanket to check the circulation in Vin's feet cuffs on his ankles were visible.

"Oh God! He can't stand being locked up," Chris whispered.

"Talk to him, the sooner he responds the sooner we get these things off," the nurse grimaced.

"Hey Cowboy, you need to calm down, so we can get you loose. You hurt some folks... Get those drugs out of you so your in control," Chris spoke gently. Several hours later Vin seemed to recognize Chris. The terror in his eyes let Chris know that he registered the restraints. The betrayal in his eyes set Chris' heart to pounding.

/Are you with me here, Cowboy/ Larabee asked. Shivers raced across Vin's skin. /All right I'm going to get these damn things off of you./ Chris promised his terrified friend.

Dr. Selingher entered. "Mr. Tanner were going to remove that breathing tube now. I'll personally help your brother get the restraints off now that your not trying to kill me," he smiled. Ten minutes later Vin was free of the hated respirator and restraints.

"We're taking him to 301 if you want to tell your friends. Their scaring the nurses," Dr Seleingher strongly suggested. Chris hesitated unwilling to leave while Vin was this upset.

Dr. Appleton appeared. Gently she brushed his cheek. "You stop scaring this old woman," she smiled.

"Yeth Ma'am," Vin whispered hoarsely.

"I'm staying with you so Chris can go get the rest of the Keystone cops," the woman teased gently. "Is that OK with you?"

"Yeth Ma'am," Vin's fingers gently traced the doctor's fingers. With a relieved sigh Chris hurried from the room.

The crew wandered in after Vin was settled in his room.

"Gave us a scare there Junior," Buck chuckled nervously. Vin kept dozing off and jerking awake. His fretful manner disturbing the others.

"Vin calm down," Chris ordered.

"Cain't breath," Vin gasped. Nathan surged forward. Chris hit the call button and JD grabbed a nurse in the hall. Dr. Appleton rushed in. Checking him over she sighed

"Honey what am I going to do with you. Deep breath, hold it let it go, again," she coached.

"What happened," Chris demanded.

"Anxiety attack," she patted Vin's cheek. "Drugs have you all messed up Sweetie," she soothed.


	2. Fireside

The Fireside

The team gathered the next afternoon as Dr. Appleton spoke with them.

"He seems to be tolerating the pain meds and his antibiotic. I intend to send him home tomorrow if he has someone to stay with him," she said.

"He'll stay with me," Chris growled.

"Good, let me explain what to expect and look out for," she smiled.

"Dr. Appleton!" a nurse burst in, "We've lost Vin Tanner".

"HOW DID THAT HAPPEN!" The doctor fumed.

"Dr. Farr checked his sutures and he seemed awfully upset. I went to get a sedative and he was gone when I got back. He pulled out his IV and just disappeared. The new orderly wasn't warned and he parked the clean laundry in front of his room. Vin grabbed some scrubs and slipped out," the nurse explained.

"Well, at least this time I got him casted and taped before he got away," Dr. Appleton sighed.

"Buck, you and JD head for the parking lot. Nathan take the east doors. Ezra are you up to checking the north side?" Chris demanded.

"Certainly Mr. Larabee," Ezra drawled as he limped off.

"I'll take the south side. Josiah, will you be all right till we get back?" Chris asked.

"Go find Brother Vin. I'll be fine," Josiah rumbled.

Ten minutes latter Chris called the others.

"He's gone. Some nurses saw him catch a cab," Chris reported.

The agents met back in the waiting room to make plans.

"What I would like to ascertain is in what manner did Mr. Tanner procure funding in which to purchase his transportation. Mr. Sanchez is in possession of Mr. Tanner's garments, weaponry, and wallet," Ezra spoke in an admiring manner.

"Vin keeps some bills hid here at the hospital for emergencies," JD spoke up.

"Hell, JD why didn't ya say something," Buck groaned.

"I thought it was safe since we had his pants," JD glared back.

"With Brother Vin one should never relax if he's where he doesn't want to be," Josiah laughed.

"You all seem to forget he's out there hurt and confused," Nathan growled.

"Junior, doesn't want to be found, so were not going to find him," Buck spoke up.

Chris looked towards the doors with a frown. "I know Buck.. But he doesn't need to be alone right now."

"Buck, What are we going to do?" JD beseeched.

"Leave Mr. Tanner alone," Ezra walked towards the door.

Nathan glared at the retreating conman.

"Brother Ezra is correct," Josiah agreed "Vin has gone to find some peace. He'll return in a few days. He needs the silence now. We have something that Vin isn't prepared to leave behind".

"Josiah?" Chris asked.

"You Brother Chris, Vin will be back because of you," Josiah chuckled.

Friday and still no sign of Vin. The men gathered that evening at Chris'.

"I sure hope Josiah's right," Buck grunted as he watched Chris pace.

Brooding silence fell as the men acknowledged their missing friend.

"There is a remarkable silence with Mr. Tanner's absence," Ezra sighed.

"For a man that quiet he sure makes his presence known," Nathan agreed.

Chris stopped pacing as JD tensed at the window.

"Chris do you see something," JD demanded pointing.

Chris stared and strode rapidly to the door.

"There's a fire on that rise to the north," Chris exclaimed.

The five agents quickly followed Chris out. Piling into Chris's truck they hung on as Chris headed north on almost nonexistent trails. Stopping further back the men cautiously approached the campfire on foot.

"They's drinks coolin' in tha spring yonder," Vin spoke without turning. He was wearing a wore out coat and a pair of worn out far to large jeans.

Chris sucked in a breath suddenly furious with Vin. Buck laid a cautioning hand on Chris's arm and shook his head.

"That's right friendly Vin, thank you," Buck sauntered over to the spring.

"You shouldn't be drinking Vin," Nathan warned.

"It's Mountain Dew, Nathan. I best leave tha liquor 'lone," Vin answered.

Nathan moved over to check Vin out. Patiently Vin allowed the examination.

"Damn, you've lost weight already. Aren't you eating?" Nathan demanded.

"I's takin' tha 'botic. Them pain pills was tearing up my stomach somethin' fierce. I'se able ta eat some now that I stopped takin' 'em," Vin answered honestly.

"When did you get antibiotics and pain pills?" Nathan demanded.

"On tha way outta tha hospital I stopped at tha pharmacy. Doc Appleton done had mah 'scriptions ready," Vin explained.

Nathan glared at the unrepentant sharpshooter as the others snickered.

"Damn Junior" Buck laughed, "that poor rabbit's skinnier than you are". Buck indicated the roasting animal.

"I'se mighty sorry Bucklin. Don't have no excuse fer cuttin' ya like that," Vin raised shamed eyes.

"Do you know what happened in the warehouse Vin?" Buck asked gently.

"I saw Mohammed Farrar," Vin's voice shook.

"Whose Mohammed Farrar?" Chris asked.

"Feller I'se tryin' ta get ta," Vin explained.

"His name is Achmid Mohammed Saddam," Josiah spoke. "You got confused Vin".

"First time I met him it was Mohammed Farrar. He's a member of Al Queda," Vin replied.

Josiah, Buck and Chris exchanged glances as Vin mentioned the terrorist organization.

"He just disappeared out of lockup," Chris spoke. "You have anything to do with that?"

"The Israelis' been looking fer Mohammed fer sometime," Vin admitted.

"Mr. Tanner is a man of many talents." Ezra observed to Nathan quietly.

//I didn't touch him. I'se just called David.// Vin assured Chris. "Ya look like a raccoon Chris," Vin noted.

"You have a hard head Tanner," Chris smiled slightly in return.

They exchanged a long glance and Vin nodded.

"I'se sorry 'bout yer leg, Josiah," Vin shifted uncomfortably.

"All's forgiven Brother," Josiah sank to the ground by the fire.

"Ezra," Vin began.

"Think no more of it Mr. Tanner. Although any future altercations will see me strenuously avoiding the end with teeth," Ezra flashed his dimples. "Surely you do not intend to partake of that pitiful carcass," Ezra examined the roasting rabbit.

"It is a mite scrawny, but it'll do," Vin replied.

The men gathered around the fire. Buck handed around bottles of everyone's favorites. They sat comfortably in the silence among friends.

JD asked suddenly, "Vin how'd you met a terrorist".

Vin calmly turned the rabbit.

"I'se in tha Rangers a spell back JD," Vin muttered.

"Texas Rangers? what do they have to do with terrorists?" JD asked in confusion.

"Army Rangers JD, special forces," Buck explained.

"I cain't tell ya nothin' 'bout it, it's classified," Vin didn't look up from the fire.

"In the dark?" Chris whispered.

Vin met his eyes with a closed off look.

"Vin are you all right with this?" Chris spoke softly as he reached for Vin's shoulder.

"Need ta tell ya. Try ta explain tha' damn warehouse," Vin shifted away from the reaching hand. "Don't touch me Chris can't stand it right now".

JD was upset by the closed expressions on the faces of Buck, Josiah, and Chris. Ezra studied the roasting rabbit carefully not making eye contact with anyone.

Vin spoke without emotion "I helt him close fer a bit and promised him ta take care a Sharron. He smiled up at me and says thank ya Vin. He was mah friend," Vin hoarse whisper ended abruptly.

"Reckon tha' rabbit's done." Vin pulled it from the flames.

JD's face was white and he moved towards Vin. Buck shook his head pointing him back to his place.

"Needs ta cool a mite. Man could get burned as hot as it is," Vin mumbled.

The men sat patiently waiting for some type of cue from Chris or Vin on what to do next.

"Don't reckon I's hungry after all. Ya want this Chris?" Vin asked.

Chris forced himself to choke down several bites of the rabbit. Vin took a drink of the Mountain Dew and tossed a log on the fire. Vin growled,

"When I's clear of them hospitals, I's gone and didn't look back."

"Where'd you go Vin?" Josiah asked very gently.

"Found me a high place. Strange thin' happened up yonder Josiah. Tha Silence filled up some of tha empty. Stayed up there till tha first snow. Listenin' ta God move in them mountains. Had me a long talk with mah Jesus. Times I could feel him. That's a mighty fine feelin'. When I saw Mohammed I lost that feelin' fer a bit. Had ta go scour tha' hate out so's I'se clean again," Vin voice was calm and his face peaceful.

"Are you OK now Cowboy?" Chris asked.

"No, but I'se gonna be fine. Got me an appointment with a fella that helped before. Time I faced some nightmares," Vin looked up with a faint grin as he put the fire out. "Can I catch me a ride down?" Vin asked.

"Let's go home Vin," Chris smiled.


	3. Healing

Healing Begins

"All right if I grab a shower Chris," Vin asked as they pulled up at the house.

"Please, you smell Tanner," Chris growled.

Larabee laid out a plastic bag to cover the cast, fresh towels and a pair of sweat pants he thought Vin could pull the cord on tight enough to keep on. A tee shirt and socks were added.

Vin headed to the bathroom.

Buck released a big sigh. "Damn Junior's seen some ugly."

"What did Vin mean when he said he was never there?" JD demanded.

"Covert Operation," Chris explained. "They weren't sent in official, no ID. When things went wrong the army could claim they didn't know about it."

"Brother Vin has come far to have healed so well," Josiah admired.

"Well he isn't healed and I want to look those injuries over," Nathan fumed.

"Chris?" Vin called in some embarrassment.

"Yeah Vin," Chris strode to the open bathroom door.

"Will ya untie my boot laces? Hurts like hell ta lean over that much." Vin admitted sheepishly.

Chris nodded, "Sit and I'll have you loose in a minute."

Larabee unlaced the combat boots and pulled the socks off. Recovering a wad of cash, a knife and a snub-nosed colt .38 in the process.

"How in hell do you manage to carry all this armory Vin?" Chris asked.

"I'se eat mah Wheaties," Vin flashed a tired grin back.

Standing up Chris watched as Vin worked the buttons left handed. Pushing the fingers to the side Chris started on the buttons.

"I usually get dinner first Larabee," Vin warned.

"I've got better taste than scrawny sharpshooters," Chris returned. "How many layers do you have on Tanner," Chris frowned as he came to the third shirt.

"I'se always cold," Vin sighed.

Looking at the long sleeve on the T-shirt pushed up above the cast Chris spoke "I'm going to have to cut the T-shirt off."

"I reckon," Vin agreed.

"Nathan, I need some bandage scissors." Larabee opened the door and called out. "It's all right Nate. I just have to cut his shirt off," Chris calmed Nathan at the door.

Chris' breath caught hard as he saw Vin without a shirt for the first time.

"Chris," Vin's voice was shaky. "I'se fine".

//That's what you think just wait till Nathan looks at them ribs.// Chris struggled to grin.

//Ah hell, he's gonna yell ain't he.// Vin moaned.

//Damn right, Cowboy//. Chris nodded to the buckled belt and worn jeans. "You gonna manage the rest of it?" he asked.

"Kin do the rest mahself thank ya kindly," Vin growled.

Chris walked out closing the door behind him. Chris turned startled when Vin opened the door. His breathing was erratic and his eyes wild.

"Need ta know I kin get out," Vin said in a shamed whisper.

Larabee frowned in concern "No one'll bother you. Leave it open if you want," Chris gentled.

Vin shivered as he closed the door.

"Ah, Hell," Vin whispered.

Chris cracked the door a couple of inches. //OK, now?"//

//I'se worse than a little kid// Vin admitted.

Chris waited listening as Vin's strained breathing settled out. Finally he heard the water start. Stalking down the hall he joined the others in the kitchen.

One glance at Chris's face and Buck closed his mouth and handed him a cup of coffee. Chris stood at the sink looking out. They jumped as the coffee mug shattered splattering coffee across the counter.

"Hell," Chris muttered.

Nathan lifted the hand checking for cuts and burns. Chris turned leaning back against the sink. The raw look on Chris face stopped any questions. Small talk began fading when the water stopped.

Vin appeared bare toes peaking from under the too long pants legs. The tee shirt hung to mid thigh. The shoulder seams hung well down his arms. A towel hung from his fingers. His hair was still dripping.

"Hard ta dry it with only one hand," Vin explained.

_How old is Vin? He looks younger than JD right now._ Chris froze.

"Sit down Mr. Tanner I have always wanted to tame that tangle you laughingly refer to as hair," Ezra offered.

Vin sank into Ezra's chair while avoiding the gazes of the other men. His hands rested in his lap. Ezra smoothly toweled the long strands dry and gently combed the tangles out.

Ezra smiled at Vin's "Ouch bad fairies," at one stubborn knot. Sheepish blue eyes met Ezra's smiling green ones. "Mama said tha' bad fairies made tangles," Vin hesitantly offered.

"Mr. Tanner I'm certain in this case that your mother was right," Ezra assured the blushing man. _So very childlike at times._ "My mother has spent a rather large fortune in an attempt to acquire hair like this," Ezra mused as he combed the silky strands.

"Mr. Tanner I realize it is not my business," Ezra began, "Why do you keep your hair at such a length?"

"It's mine," Vin tried to explain. "First thing they done when I's in fosta care they'se cut mah hair. Always kept it short in them fosta homes. Costs less ta just run tha clippers over it. Didn't have ta help tha little 'ens wash it. Said it kept tha lice down. When I got outta tha Rangers I wasn't gonna let nobody take no more pieces of me. Haven't cut it since," Vin drawled softly.

Troubled gazes met over Vin's bent head.

"Vin time to stop putting it off, let me see those ribs," Nathan demanded breaking the uncomfortable silence.

Vin frowned and started trying to pull the T-shirt up. Ezra removed the towel from Vin's shoulders.

"Dear Lord!" Ezra exclaimed as he viewed the revealed skin.

Vin's arms were a tracery of white scars from sleeve to wrist and the top of the cast. A heavy layer of scar tissue encircled the left wrist.

JD's chair overturned as he fled the room.

"Poor kid, I shouldn't have come in here," Vin whispered.

"You didn't do anything wrong Vin. JD just needs a little time," Nathan soothed.

"Git on with it Nathan," Vin growled.

Moving behind Vin, Nathan pulled up the shirt. Nathan's fussing ceased. He froze a saddened look on his face. Ezra looked ill as he stood clenching his hands staring at Vin's back. Vin sat perfectly still an unreadable look on his face. Nathan visibly gathered himself then reached out with shaking hands. Taking a breath he probed the ribs and bruises.

"Damn Nathan, they's cracked you tryin' ta go 'head and bust 'em through," Vin growled.

"Don't give me no grief white boy," Nathan ordered "You haven't been taking care of these like your suppose to." He carefully pulled the shirt back down. Nathan moved around to the front his face now calm and full of caring. "Hurts to take a deep breath?" Nathan asked.

"Yeah," Vin admitted.

"Good maybe you won't go and do something stupid," Nathan admonished. "Where's your brace? Damn it Vin you need to give this collar bone a chance to heal," Nathan fussed.

Vin seemed to relax somehow after hearing Nathan fuss at him.

"Brace is on the counter in the bathroom," Vin muttered.

JD carried the brace in looking embarrassed.

"I cleaned the bathroom for you Vin," JD spoke worried eyes locking onto Vin's face.

"Thanks JD," Vin smiled calmly.

"You have any problems with these scars limiting your motion?" Nathan asked calmly.

"Not any more. Had me a good physical therapist. Hated her guts fer a long time though," Vin answered.

"What did you mean when you said that the pain killer was hurting your stomach?" Nathan inquired.

"Stomach gets all messed up when I take most medicines. I's somethin' the Doctors called a hypersensitive system," Vin tried to explain. " They gotta be careful with them pills. Most pain killers make me sick and wear off sooner then they's suppose ta. I'se on a ventilator when they give me a dose of opium once. Woke up on tha operatin' table a couple times," Vin remarked.

"You counting this time or before?" Nathan asked.

"Were 'fore in tha Army," Vin muttered.

"You just have to be the patient from hell," Nathan shook his head as he fit the brace and sling on.

"The trash you eat and a few pills hurts your tummy," Buck guffawed trying to ease the tension.

"It ain't garbage! Won't never eat another man's garbage 'gain!" the Texan snarled. Vin's furious eyes were full of shameful memories.

"I never intended to hurt you son," Buck's voice trembled.

"Ya ain't mah pa," Vin snarled, a dangerous look on his face.

"No, I'm not. I wouldn't never have let them hurt you like this Junior," Buck's voice was gentle.

Vin's distrusting look cut Buck to the heart.

"I done fine on mah own," Vin growled.

"I'd probably bust the buttons off my shirt. I'd be so proud to have a boy like you," Buck gentled.

A puzzled look crossed Tanner's face. Vin calmed down darting embarrassed looks at the others.

Chris moved cautiously and poured Vin a cup of coffee.

A shy smile finally crossed Vin's face. "I shouldn't have jumped all over ya like that Bucklin," Vin apologized.

"You aren't pretty enough to get away with it again," Buck chuckled. "I didn't aim to prod hurtful places, Junior," he spoke seriously.

"Yah really meant that about bein' proud iffen I were yers?" Vin's voice shook

"Hell Yes, women just love cute kids. Coulda scored a lot of dates off of ya," Buck teased gently.

Vin's eyes slowly filled with mischief.

"Pa sure would like ya lady. He likes women that's on tha hefty side," Vin spoke innocently with serious big blue eyes.

Buck sat dumbfounded as the others roared with laughter.

"You're correct Mr. Wilmington. A juvenile Vin Tanner would be an excellent way to get women . . . to rearrange your features," Ezra smirked.

"Vin you need to wear a medical alert medallion or bracelet," Nathan suggested.

"I'se does it was in with mah things," Vin spoke roughly.

Josiah lifted the bag containing Vin's stuff. Carefully he emptied it onto the table.

"Scared your gonna run out of weapons, Vin," Buck mused.

There were two 9 mm SIGs, a 9 mm Glock, .45 Colt 1911 and three knives in the pile.

"There's a Colt .38 and another knife in the bathroom," Chris laughed.

"Stronger then he looks," Nathan muttered

"Skinny ass like that shouldn't even be able to stand up, much less walk around carrying that weight," Buck snorted.

JD began counting "There's 8 magazines here and two speed loaders."

Buck shook his head in amazement "How can you move so damn quiet? You ought to rattle when you walk," Buck demanded.

Vin began sorting holsters, sheaths and harness out while Chris checked weapons. Ezra opened a plastic bag and poured the contents onto the table. He pushed the Medical Alert Medallion towards Nathan. Gathering up the change he started replacing it in the bag. Stopping he examined a coin closer. Soft laughter shook Ezra frame as he smirked at the laughing Tanner.

"What's so funny?" Buck asked.

"It is official Mr. Tanner has the medal," Ezra tossed the coin to Buck.

Buck's laugh joined them. Josiah pulled the coin from Buck's fingers. On one side was a donkey wearing a mortarboard. Around the edge wise ass was engraved. On the other side was an inscription. Twice is enough Slick. Captain James and the rest was damaged.

"Captain caught on ta my pranks didn't turn me in though," Vin explained.

JD's glance would touch on Vin's arms then skitter around the room.

"It's all right JD ain't proud of 'em. Keep 'em covered they trouble folks. Go ahead and look 'em over and get past it," Vin sighed.

"I'm sorry Vin," JD stammered.

"So's I, JD. I's sorry I didn't have 'nough guts ta tell ya about it after Wilson," Vin sighed. "Is there somethin' ya need ta know?" Vin raised serious eyes.

"Do you still have nightmares?" JD mumbled.

"Reckon I'se always gonna have 'em. Wakin' up scared ta death. Yeah JD, I still has nightmares," Vin admitted.

"Is that what happened at the hospital?" JD asked.

Vin suddenly had a panicked look in his eyes.

"Easy Vin you're all right," Chris calmed.

"One of them doctors was Iraqi," Vin choked out refusing to look up. "Reckon I heard him talking. Then I'se back there," Vin gasped his breathing labored.

"It's all right now. You're safe here," Chris touched Vin's tense shoulder.

"I hurt 'em didn't I?" Vin asked.

"Who? Vin," Chris asked softly.

"Them doctors that was trying ta fix me up," Tanner said in a shamed whisper.

"They understood Vin," Chris soothed.

"I know he weren't one of 'em. Just got sa scairt," the texan said in a whisper.

"Come on Cowboy, time for a nap," Chris insisted.

"I'se a might tired," Vin admitted.

"I need to change the dressing on that leg," Nathan reminded.

Vin nodded as he followed Chris out of the room.

"Chris you leave me be when the terrors come. I don' want ta hurt ya 'gain," Vin directed.

Larabee led Vin to the master bedroom.

"Chris, this's yer bed.," Vin protested.

"I'm not using it right now," Chris stated.

"Don't wanta sleep in yer bed ain't right," Vin fussed.

"Tanner, get your skinny butt in that bed," Chris ordered.

Nathan came in with his medical kit.

"Ah hell!" Vin sighed.

Larabee asked softly, "You want me to leave?"

Vin's fingers locked almost painfully around Chris' wrist. Nathan tucked the covers carefully to the side only revealing the wounded thigh.

"It looks real good," Nathan said in surprise.

"I kin change a bandage," Vin growled.

"I know that. You've been moving around a lot more than the doctors would want," Nathan explained. Gently he tucked Vin in.

"Thank ya, Nate," Vin smiled at the retreating man.

Tanner twitched and twisted a moment. "Bed's ta soft. I'll sleep on tha floor," Vin started pulling on the blankets.

"Vin!" huffed Chris in exasperation "go to sleep."

The tracker pulled a pillow closer and buried his face in it. He slowly relaxed after he took several deep breaths.

_Like a dog sniffing out a new place. _

"Smells like ya," Vin muttered sleepily.

_I'll be damned he was sniffing._

"Thanks Chris," Vin muttered.

Larabee turned out the light and started to shut the door.

"Chris leave 'er open I'll sleep better," Tanner requested. "I don't do sa well in closed up places," Vin spoke softly in the darkness.

_Caged and tortured, somebody has hurt him bad_. "You want me to open the windows a little?" Chris offered.

"Don't matter none," Vin answered.

_Meaning I'll sleep a lot better if the windows were open but I wouldn't dream of asking. _Chris walked back to the windows and opened them both about four inches. An almost chill breeze crept in.

"Is that going to be too cold?" Chris asked in concern.

Vin shook his head noticeably more relaxed. Chris opened a closet and pulled another comforter out. He spread it over Vin and silently left the room.

//Thanks Cowboy.//

//No problem Vin//

Chris returned to the silent agents. "He's asleep, said not to try to wake him when the nightmares come."

"When! they come, not if," Josiah sighed sadly.

"Damn, Junior's been through hell," Buck whispered.

"Should I investigate the qualifications of this psychiatrist, that Mr. Tanner is dealing with?" Ezra asked Chris.

"No, I don't think so. Vin's used him before. He's comfortable with him," Chris mused.

"I need to get Vin's medical records. The opium reaction worries me. I need to know what kind of reactions we're dealing with," Nathan fussed. "To damn scrawny already didn't need to loose any more weight. Stopped taking his pain meds. He must be hurting real bad," Nathan worried.

"We need to know what we're dealing with," Chris acknowledged.

"You saw," Nathan spoke looking at his hands.

"Yeah," Chris closed his eyes tightly for a moment.

"He said he held his dying friend," JD whispered, "Vin didn't even seem like it bothered him."

"It bothered him JD. Hurts to much for him to deal with," Josiah explained.

"How can you just kill your friend?" JD asked in horror.

"You weren't there JD. Hope you never find out son," Buck hugged the younger man.

Chris and Buck exchanged a haunted look.

"Are you all staying or going?" Chris finally asked.

"You might need help with Junior. I'll stay," Buck offered.

Josiah nodded, "I'll stay, he might talk to me".

"He's hurt, I'm not going anywhere," Nathan frowned.

"I really don't want to be alone," JD admitted.

"If it would not be an inconvenience, I would appreciate your hospitality," Ezra drawled.

"There's a king size bed in the guest room. There's twin beds in Adam's room." Chris directed. "A full size in the back room there," Chris pointed. "Two comfortable couches, and a bed in the tack room. Linens are in the hall closet. No fighting after lights out," Chris glared but breathed a sigh of relief.

Buck woke about 3 a.m.. Going to the door of Chris' room he peeked in. A soft smile crossed his face. Chris sat propped up against the headboard his arms loosely cradled the sharpshooter. Vin was pressed against his side. His head rested on Chris' chest and an arm was thrown across his body. Chris' eyes sprang open. Buck nodded and started to turn away. Chris motioned him in.

"He let me talk to him after a nightmare," Chris gently stroked the sleeping tracker's hair.

"You OK, Chris?" Buck asked.

"Yeah Buck, I'm all right," Chris spoke softly.

_I haven't seen that look since we lost Sarah and Adam. _Buck felt a tight knot somewhere deep inside himself loosen in relief.

"I never thought Junior would be a snuggler," Buck chuckled.

A sleepy voice grumbled, "Bucklin iffen ya don't shut up I'se gonna have ta shoot ya fer sure".

"You look mighty comfortable Vin," Buck teased.

Chris chuckled as he removed the knife that appeared in Vin's left hand.

"Where'd you get this?" Chris asked.

"Don't do ya no good less ya have'm with ya," Vin muttered as he slid back into sleep.

Pleased looks were exchanged as Vin excepted their presence. Buck and Chris talked softly.

"Do you think we have a problem with this Arab reaction?" Buck asked.

"No, Vin's to smart for that. Never had a problem before and we've worked with Middle Easterners," Chris reminded Buck.

"He'd a killed that fella in the warehouse," Buck spoke seriously.

"Had him a good reason," Chris glared.

"I ain't sayin' he didn't," Buck soothed. "We just need to know who else is going to set him off," Buck explained.

"Yeah, need to let 'em know at the hospital too," Chris sighed.

Gently he rubbed Vin's back when he felt him tense and shudder. This time the nightmare stopped.


	4. Doc Mike

Doc Mike

Chris woke to find Vin gone. Dressing he started looking. A pot of Vin's awful coffee sat on the burner. Chris smiled to hear the horses nickering as they demanded Vin hurry with their breakfast.

_I should have figured you'd go to the barn. _Chris sauntered out with two cups of coffee. Vin knew when Chris stepped in the barn, but continued seeing to the horses. By unspoken mutual consent they moved to the corral fence and leaned against it as they drank the coffee.

/OK/ Chris asked in concern. Vin nodded with a peaceful expression.

/This psychiatrist fella/ Vin began /Sarge started me ta seeing him./ Chris waited patiently. /Would ya mind iffen I brought him out here/ Vin asked softly.

/You can do that/ Chris offered.

/Like ta borra that little sorrel mare for him. He's got a gentle touch wit' critters/ Vin continued.

/Your going riding/ Chris asked in confusion.

/Doc Mike knows I cain't stand walls. We talk out there/ Vin nodded towards the open.

/Take what you need Cowboy. Be careful of that leg/ Chris directed.

/Won't be ridin' yet/ Vin promised.

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Chris was amused the first time he watched Vin and Doc Mike together. The doctor stood as tall as JD. He a head full of silvery hair and acted like Netty Wells. Mike acted as though he expected Vin to do as he asked. Vin usually did. They puttered around the place fixing things that needed fixed. Chris came home to several well made home cooked meals the next week.

One evening when Vin ran out to get some beer for them Chris confronted the doctor.

"I'm not complaining, but can Vin afford for you to spend so much time out here?" Chris finally asked.

"Chris, I'm semi-retired. Vin's special people. I only charge him enough so he doesn't feel like it's charity" Doc Mike explained. "He helps me heal too" the doctor spoke gently. "I was a GP for years. My boy was a POW in Vietnam. When he came home...I didn't see it. I lost him. That's when I went into psychology. I specialize in hostages and POWs" the doctor's soft voice stopped when Vin's jeep pulled in.

"Thank you" Chris said.

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Chris arrived to find Vin in a full fledged temper the next evening.

"Vin?" Chris called as Vin stomped off to the barn. Concerned he looked at the smiling psychiatrist.

"It's good Chris. The boy needs to know he can lose his temper," Mike said.

"What happened?" Chris frowned.

"We're having a chef's salad for dinner," Doc Mike chuckled. "I quote Ain't gonna eat no damn green shit," Mike snickered.

"You did it deliberate?" Chris asked.

"Time for him to holler a little. He's out there kicking a few buckets and cussing the world. Then he'll come in wash up and make me feel like whale shit while he eats the salad," Doc Mike grinned. Chris shook his head and chuckled.

When a noticeable relaxed Vin returned they sat down to the table. Chris ate as Vin muttered under his breath and Mike kept an unreadable look on his face.

"Happy now I et tha green stuff," Vin demanded.

"Yes" Mike answered calmly. Vin glared and then looked sheepish.

"I'se been a asshole," he admitted.

"Yes," Mike agreed.

"Ya don't have ta agree sa quick," Vin's lips twitched. Mike looked perfectly innocent. Chris choked on his coffee.

"When am I going to meet the rest of your family Vin?" Mike asked.

"Don't got no kin. Ya know tha'," Vin looked confused.

"Of course you do. You've been telling me about them all week," Doc Mike smiled. "Chris, Ezra, JD, Buck, Josiah and Nathan. Netty Wells would be hurt if she heard you disown her like that," Mike said.

"They ain't kin," Vin said.

"Vin Tanner! family isn't only blood relations. Family is people we care about and care about us," he reminded. Vin blinked looking at Doc Mike. Vin suddenly fled the table. "Chris leave him alone," Doc calmly began eating. Chris frowned at the figure on the porch hugging a post.

"He's hurting," Chris growled.

"Vin's scared. He hasn't had anyone for a long time," the doctor spoke compassionately.

Vin crept back in taking his seat.

"Kin I have some of tha' peach pie ya made?" he asked softly.

"Of course, I made it special for you," Doc Mike rose to get the pie. Chris' heart almost broke at Vin's expression. Shock that someone did something special just for him left Vin without his defenses. A large piece of pie smothered in ice-cream was placed in front of him. Vin's hand trembled as he picked up a fork.

"Thank ya," Vin whispered. "Maybe we kin go ta tha saloon Friday nigh'. Tha team'll be there most likely," Vin finally said.

"We could grill some steaks out here," Chris offered. "That way Buck won't embarrass us in public".

"Could do that too," Vin agreed.

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The rest of the unit joined them on Friday evening. There was a certain amount of nervousness as they met Doc Mike. They soon were relaxed as Mike did his thing. Ezra kept studying the doctor.

"Wanna play some poker?" Doc Mike gave an evil chuckle. They sat down to play. Ezra was battling it out with a player his equal or perhaps even better.

"Did I ever tell you how I used my poker winnings to pay for medical school," Doc asked Vin as he raked in another pot. Chris made them stop for the evening. Doc turned to Ezra.

"Young man if you practice diligently you may learn how to play poker," Mike smirked at Ezra.

"I would consider a rematch suh," Ezra offered.

"I don't believe you're willing to met my stakes," Mike spoke in a serious tone.

"What stakes do you require?" Ezra frowned.

"Genuine conversation, no misleading, no empty words, only the truth. Only that which is freely given and of course a little cash," Mike smiled wickedly.

"You suh go for the heart of the matter," Ezra admitted. "I will consider your terms at my leisure," Ezra decided.

"Your not going to analyze me are you?" Buck frowned when Mike took a seat on the couch beside him.

"Never!" Doc Mike exclaimed. "I can only analyze the head on your shoulders. I believe they used saltpeter for your problem during the W.W.II," Mike spoke with a twinkle in his eye.

Buck smirked "Doc it ain't a problem". Doc Mike lifted an eyebrow with a wicked glint in his eyes.

"Poor ole Bucklin been nice knowin' him," Vin was heard to murmur.

"Are you attempting to deal with feelings of failure, perhaps inadequacy?" Doc shook his head sadly.

"Doc everything works just like it's suppose to and more then enough of it," Buck bragged.

"Do you perform poorly since you change partners so frequently?" Doc's eyes glowed with mischievous intent.

"No Doc ain't none of my ladies ever complained," Buck growled. JD's snickers could be heard in the kitchen.

"Bucklin I'd stop whilst I could," Vin warned. Buck opened his mouth then closed it firmly.

"He's smarter then you indicated Vin," Doc grinned.

"Never said ole Buck weren't smart. Said he didn't do much thinking in a northerly direction," Vin returned. Buck began to laugh and the others joined in.

"How'd you and Junior meet up?" Buck asked. Doc shared a glance with Vin. When Vin nodded.

"A man my son served with in Vietnam called me. Sergeant Hawk said he had a kid that needed some help and I would find it a challenge. Truer words were never spoken. Vin wasn't much of a talker back then. Took 22 days before Tanner spoke the first word to me. I was very excited when he did," Doc laughed. "He brought me to my feet".

"Vin isn't a big talker now," Nathan acknowledged.

"It wasn't him speaking it was the words," Doc chuckled.

"What was so important?" Chris asked.

"Tha's a rattler," Doc drawled. "He sure got my attention". Relaxed laughter filled the room. "He's taking pity on my old bones these days," Doc Mike smiled. "I haven't had to hang off the side of a cliff, go kayaking or ride that death machine he calls a motorcycle. I won't even cover going to his apartment," Doc gave a realistic shudder.

"You made Doc do them things?" JD was horrified.

"He made me go in some elevator fer three hours," Vin challenged. Doc moaned and looked over at Chris.

"I was trying to help him with the claustrophobia," Doc explained.

"It didn't work," Chris replied.

"Have you ever see Night Court on TV?" Doc asked.

"Yeah," Chris looked confused.

"He's much better now," Doc dead panned. Josiah's deep laughter filled the room. Doc had a pitiful expression on his face. "Don't laugh, you share a elevator with him for three hours," he said.

"Did it help?" JD asked.

"I have no idea. I take the stairs, now," Doc answered with a grin.

"Tomorra Doc and I'se headin' out fer a spell," Vin announced. "Be back fer mah doctor's appointment on Tuesday," he informed them. "Yeah I'se already packed tha cell phone, Chris. Nathan, Doc's got him a big ole medical bag," Vin teased. "Need ta listen ta the wind," Vin stated softly.

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Vin called in on the way to the doctor's Tuesday morning sounding very relaxed.

Doc came to the office to meet Vin for lunch.

"Doc were you there after Vin was hurt," Josiah asked.

"Hawk called me after the black night," Doc answered softly.

"Is he all right?" Nathan asked quietly.

"Vin's ready to come back to work," Doc assured them.

"You didn't really answer Nathan," Chris commented.

"Vin is my patient. There are something's he's dealing with. I will not betray his trust," Doc stated.

"They's just worried," Vin spoke from the door.

"What did the surgeon say about your leg?" Nathan demanded.

"I'se been released for full duty," Vin grinned. Vin turned to Doc with a shy smile "I 'pologized ta Ben Farr," he said.

"Ben Farr?" JD questioned.

"He's the intern that I went after in surgery," Vin looked embarrassed. "Seems like a nice fella," Vin admitted. "He was mighty forgivin'," Vin stated.

"Vin, I'm heading out in a couple of hours," Doc said. "You OK with this or you want me to come back in a couple of weeks?" he asked.

"Come back ta visit when ya can. Leave your couch at home," Vin answered.


End file.
